Some Common Views of Love. Are They True?
Love is never having to say you're sorry. Love hurts. Please release me and let me go, for I don't love you anymore To waste our lives would be a shame. Please release me and let me love again. Love is giving people what they want. Love, love changes everything.
What do people mean by 'love'? A Romantic entanglement? Having sex? Having warm feelings towards ...? Indulging people?
A Christian definition: A settled commitment to do what is actually the best for another, regardless of cost to yourself and regardless of feelings. Where there is commitment, the feelings follow. Although feelings may change, the commitment remains. e.g. a Christian whose wife suffered Alzheimer's Disease and he gave up his well regarded job to look after her.
Different Words in Bible for "Love" Gk. philia friendship Gk. philadelphia brotherly love family Gk. eros erotic sexual love Gk. agape sacrificial commitment > 1 Corinthians 13
Different kinds of 'intercourse' spiritual, intellectual, social, sexual.
People today sometimes suggest that sexual intercourse can be the ground or foundation of a true loving relationship, ie that if they have sex together they will then know if they are right for each other. But the Bible sees it as the crown or seal upon a relationship which enjoys intercourse at other levels. Some people justify sex before marriage in order to see if they are compatible with each other. In fact, in the vast majority of cases sexual compatibility is easily achieved. Where difficulties arise it usually comes from difficulties in other aspects of the relationships e.g. if a couple are hiding something from each other, or one or both are anxious about something, it may cause sexual difficulties. If the relationship is good at other levels, then the sex will be good!
Marriage is God's provision for enjoying sex as the expression of an underlying permanent commitment "for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish" (in the words of the marriage service). This requires chastity before and fidelity within marriage. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4, 1 Corinthians 7:2 Hebrews 13:4 1 Corinthians 6:15-20.
The relationship between God and his people is often described as a marriage relationship, (Hosea 2:14-23; Ephesians 5:21-33). A fruitful relationship with God involves: love, permanence, sacrificial commitment, intimacy, security and communication. These should also be characteristic of a good marriage.
Divorce can only be accepted in extreme cases as the lesser of two evils, where to continue the relationship would cause actual abuse and harm. It involves the breaking of promises and great hurt and it also denies the spiritual parallel of God's constant committed love. It may be right that society provides for divorce. Matthew 19:8-9 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, but this should not become an easy option. Statistics suggest that a second marriage after divorce is much more likely also to break up. Co-habitation (living together without the commitment of marriage) also produces less stable relationships and higher rates of other problems (e.g. depression, alcohol problems).
Homosexual practice violates the male-female image in which we are created. Genesis 1. 26-31, 2.18-24 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 Homosexual practice is only one among a list of practices which, if persisted in, disqualify a person from inheriting the kingdom of God. "Homophobia" is wrong - hysterical prejudice against homosexuals We need total compassion for those with a homosexual condition who may struggle, like single heterosexuals, to obey God in this area of their lives.
John 8:1-11 shows the purity and the mercy of Jesus. He does not condone sexual immorality, but he does not condemn the woman caught in adultery. He sets her free to "sin no more."
Affirmations & Recommendations on Homosexuality
from 'Challenging Issues: Homosexuality' Presbyterian Church in Ireland Board of Social Witness (June 1999)
1 We believe that men and women are created in the image of God and that our sexuality should be recognised as an important part of our personality.
2 We affirm that it is God's will that sexual intercourse should take place in the context of monogamous heterosexual marriage.
3 We believe that people with homosexual tendencies are loved by God, but we also believe that homosexual practice is condemned in both the Old and New Testaments as wrong and against God's design for humanity.
4 We affirm that we are all sinners and all of us are in need of the grace of God. Heterosexual and homosexual sins are equally offensive to our Lord.
5 We believe that in the past many in the Church have discriminated against, misunderstood and hurt many homosexuals.
6 We call upon all people, whether homosexual or heterosexual to exercise self restraint and discipline in their sexuality -- fidelity within heterosexual marriage and abstinence outside of it.
7 We urge Christians to offer real support, patience and love to all who struggle with sexual morality and through it all the promise of forgiveness and hope, in the name of Jesus Christ to all who repent.
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